Newly updated as of 10/8/07.
Who We Are
What is nyc_snark?
nyc_snark is a community for expressing your frustration with the clamoring throng of idiots who idealize, visit, wish to move to, or even already exist here in our fair city.
How did this community start?
Sometime, not too long ago, in a galaxy close by, blergeatkitty and offbalance were discussing the awesomeness that is domestic_snark and realized that there was no community that allowed for the snarking of posts in various New York communities, a bastion of stupid questions since their creation in LJ-land. We decided that it was a void that needed to be filled, so we did.
Who are the community moderators?
Your mods are offbalance and blergeatkitty (henceforth known as "The Mods"). Anyone else is just faking it.
Do The Mods actually talk about what goes on here?
Yes, between e-mail, IM, and gchat, they tend to be pretty up to date. No major decisions about the community get made until they've discussed them with each other. Decisions affecting the community will sometimes also be discussed with you, the community.
Can I be a Mod too? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Currently, it doesn't seem like moderating this forum requires a whole lot of (wo)manpower, so we're not taking on any new moderators at the moment. If that changes, and we need one, we'll probably approach a longstanding member rather than taking applications.
Note that minimodding, tattletale-ing, rolling your eyes at the mods, openly resenting the fact that you didn't think of this community yourself, or otherwise acting like you own the place isn't going to make us any more likely to grant you this power.
How To Join
Who can join this community?
While membership is currently moderated, feel free to apply to join. Keep reading for a few simple criteria for joining.
I don't live in New York. Can I still be a part of this community?
Sure. We're not going to discriminate against you purely on the basis of not living here. Some of our best friends live in places other than the city.
Please note, though, that being an nyc_snarker implies some knowledge of and love for the city. Note that "nyc" comes BEFORE "snark" in the name. If you're just a fan of snark without being also a fan of the city, you may find yourself puzzled when we're all chortling about the idiot who wants recommendations for an "exotic," "real New York experience" restaurant like Jekyll and Hyde's...or the poor fresh-faced kiddos who are moving to NYC soon and want to be hooked up with a cool job in The Media and also a nice apartment someplace safe and cheap like the Village. If you don't get why these things are funny, this might not be your brand of snark.
There are lots of great snark communities, and lots of great pointing-and-laughing-at-drama communities, that aren't solely about New York. domestic_snark and stupid_free are just two fantastic examples among the zillions you might check out if New York-specific stuff is not your bag.
Can I join your community just to passively absorb all the lulz?
We know not everyone is as loquacious as everyone else, but we'd rather you at least think you might participate every now and then. We don't want it to be just the same three people posting the same flavor of snark over and over. We encourage you to speak up in a humorous fashion whenever stupid behavior abounds in the New York corners of LJ.
Also, use of the word "lulz," while not a violation of any community or LJ policies we know of, is atrociously lame. You are a human being, not a LOLcat. Snark like you speak some language fluently.
You rejected me! Why?
We're pretty open about letting people in, but from time to time, we say no. It's not personal, really.
As we noted above, we're not in the business of snark purely for the purposes of stirring up drama, so if you're one of those types for whom lj drama appears to be your favorite thing, we may not approve you. If you only have snark and drama communities on your friendslist and no actual New York communities, that doesn't really make you seem like you're someone who's as fed up with dumb New York questions as we are. That makes you seem like someone who enjoys saying mean things about other people. Obviously, the two aren't mutually exclusive, but we need the former quality first. The latter quality is fully optional.
Also, we like to get a feel for who people are before we let them in. We understand your need for semiprivacy on the Internet, but a friends-only journal with only a handful of actual friends gives us nothing. We have no way of knowing you're a real person.
Note that if you've requested membership and you feel we've unfairly denied you, you can feel free to appeal our decision right here - comments on this post are screened. Being nasty to us won't help your case. Figuring out for yourself why you might look suspicious, and then telling us something that helps us decide you aren't, WILL help your case. Keeping a sense of humor about it all is a definite plus.
What exactly are we allowed to snark?
Anything that has been posted in a New-York-related LJ community, or anything on-topic that you find elsewhere on the Internet or in your everyday life.
Is there anything we are not allowed to snark?
There is to be NO snarking of posts in personal LJs. And when snarking a community post, please try to limit your snarking to the post itself - don't go into the person's journal and dig up dirt. That's beneath you.
And it should go without saying, but anything violating the LJ TOS is forbidden. (That's "Terms of Service," not "The Original Series." Basically, if Frank the Goat says don't do it, so do we.)
What’s your position on fake posts in the communities that we snark?
It’s inappropriate and it promotes the kind of behavior that we complain about and snark on in the first place. We do not condone it. If you go ahead and make fake posts anyway, we will not defend you. You are on your own. In addition, any posts to nyc_snark that link to fake posts will be deleted.
Can I pimp this community in my own journal or in other communities?
We're not making the existence of nyc_snark any big secret, but we would prefer that you didn't make posts specifically devoted to bringing in new blood. Quantity versus quality, you know.
Also we hate anything that even remotely SMELLS like spam, as do most people outside of the state of Hawaii. (What's up with Hawaiians and spam, anyway? They freakin' LOVE that stuff.)
I just saw the funniest snark evar in here. I was literally LOLing. Wouldn't it be just awesome if I went into the original post, linked to the post here, and told them they got served?
Oh, why not? You're no fun anymore!
We ask for you to lock the posts for a reason. (Well, we haven't asked you yet but we will in a minute here.) There's really not much that's funny about getting up in someone's face about how we mocked them in a community. You can still comment to the original post - hell, it's the internets, snark them to their face if you want - but there's something definitely classless about merely saying "oh hay look guyz u got snarked!"
So, in summation, if you start linking to nyc_snark posts in the original entries they reference, we might have to ban you. Actually, we probably WILL ban you - there's no "might" about it.
Oh my god you guys, you SNARKED ME. You are SO MEAN. I am BUTTHURT.
Suck it up. It's probably because you said something stupid.
Seriously? Unless the mean old snark in question is a blatant violation of any of the other rules outlined in this here FAQ, you might consider growing a thicker skin before you come playing in snark communities. Or the internets at large.
If the mean bad rotten wicked nasty post in question in fact DOES violate one or more of the rules as far as you see it, poke one of the mods and we'll see if it merits attention. If we see your point, we'll take it down. If you don't have a valid point, well, we'll try to keep the snickering behind our hands this time.
Any other rules we should be aware of?
- For the love of all things holy, LOCK YOUR POSTS. This is a self-contained community. What happens here, stays here.
- Absolutely NO WHINING, huge images without cuts, or chat speak.
- Please look before you snark, to make sure you’re not repeating anything.
- Please don't just cross-post your own snarks from stupid_free or other snark sites, even if they are relevant. Try to tailor your snark a little. We like to feel special in this community.
- Like we said above, it's about quality, not quantity. We would rather see one post a month of truly creative snarking than 20 posts a day of mediocre snarking.
- Your post must have some kind of snarky merit, not just a generic diatribe about how every other post in newyorkers is some dork who wants to pimp their lame party. What's funny about random complaining? NOTHING, that's what.
- Please keep the personal attacks to a bare minimum. While sometimes it does seem like the same people are making themselves snark targets, the mere fact that someone has posted in a community is not snarkworthy.
- Snarking of The Mods is forbidden, because we're The Mods. (Though if one of us has a lapse in good judgement and suddenly starts asking nyc_cuisine about how to get the best table at Red Lobster before they see The Lion King, the other one might be willing to bend the rules.)
If you find something within nyc_snark to be offensive, DO NOT just whine about it in a post (see above). Please take your issue up with The Mods.
Snarkers Gone Bad
What happens if we break a rule?
We drown you in the Gowanus canal.
We might give you a warning, depending on the offense and/or if we're feeling benevolent. After that, we drown you in the Gowanus and kick you out. And see above about fake posting.
What does it mean, "depending on the offense?"
Exactly what it says - depending on the offense.
Can't you give us an exact definition?
It's like Potter Stewart and his pornography. We know it when we see it. Not that it was actually HIS pornography...nevermind. You get the point.
Why is nyc_snark a moderated community?
Because despite everything we've previously said about no whining, quality vs. quanity, drama llamas need not apply, etc., some people just don't listen.
Wow, that's a long-ass FAQ. Are you done yet?
For the time being...The Mods reserve the right to amend, revise, supplement, etc. whenever the mood strikes.
AND BECAUSE IT BEARS REPEATING, PLEASE MAKE SURE ALL ENTRIES ARE LOCKED. WHAT HAPPENS IN nyc_snark STAYS IN nyc_snark.
(major thanks to wait for her FAQ, which we largely were inspired by).